Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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