I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
