he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
