ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
