just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
