Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
