My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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