Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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