And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
