at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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