Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
