You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
