Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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