I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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