All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
