Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
