tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
