YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
