didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
