Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
