Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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