dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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