Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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