I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
