I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
