I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
