if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
