U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
