So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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