he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
