I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
