I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
