people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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