Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
