There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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