i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so let's talk penis.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
