i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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