I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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