Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
there is glitter all over my balls
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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