what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
