when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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