nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When are your genitals available?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
