Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
