Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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