Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
