He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
