I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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