He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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