It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
