My hair reeks of homosexuality.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
