Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
